All The Single Ladies

Throw your hands up

Photo by Simon Maage on Unsplash

Calling all my fellow singles!

At this stage of life, my friend group consists of a healthy mix of married and single friends, and I love them all.

I love that my married friends still make time for me, inviting me into their homes and into their lives.

I love the camaraderie I share with my single friends. I love taking road trips with them or spending whole afternoons out on the town together.

I am especially thankful for those friends (both married and single) who have supported me through the ups and downs of my roller-coaster of a love life.

At twenty-six, I am blessed to have a solid group of girlfriends with whom I can share all the embarrassing details about my crushes, heartbreaks, and romantic mishaps without fear of shame or judgment.

(Thank the Lord this isn’t middle school, where you couldn’t tell anyone about your crushes without the whole school knowing!)

My married friends have never once made me feel like a third wheel, pressured me into dating someone I wasn’t interested in, or made me feel inferior because I don’t have a ring on my finger.

Nevertheless, sometimes I look at their lives and wonder, “God, what did I do wrong? Why did you bring them a husband so soon while you’ve continued to make me wait? Am I not good enough for marriage?”

In moments like these, I turn to my friend Beth.

A Friend Who Loves At All Times

Beth and I have strikingly different personalities. She’s a bubbly, energetic extrovert who loves people and could socialize all day (Almost). I’m an easily overwhelmed introvert who hates large crowds and gets drained by prolonged social interaction. But we also have a lot in common. Besides the fact that we attended the same university and performed in theatre productions together, we’re both single, in our mid-twenties, and have endured our fair share of romantic misadventures.

There are few people with whom I enjoy talking about relationships more than Beth because she gets it.

She understands the ache of singleness like few of my other friends do. She’s probably the only gal I know who *used to be* as boy-crazy as I was, and I know she’s cried over just as many heartbreaks as I have. (Love ya, Beth.)

But you know what?

She’s also one of the people I trust most on the topic of dating because I know she’ll be brutally, lovingly honest with me.

She calls me out when I’ve let an infatuation get the best of me.

She commiserates with me when I need an empathetic ear.

She listens to me vent about all my romantic frustrations.

But she also encourages me to celebrate my singleness.

To find contentment in it.

To embrace this season of life for what it is.

And I love her for that.

Recently, during a time of frustration and despair, Beth turned to Isaiah 54, often titled “The Eternal Covenant of Peace” in modern English translations. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, Beth penned a personalized version of the passage re-crafted specifically for the single gal.

A few months later, Beth shared her creative revision with me, and it brought tears to my eyes.

I loved it so much that I wanted a copy for myself, though I was hesitant at first to ask her to share something so personal.

Much to my delight, Beth not only gave me a copy but graciously gave me permission to share it on my blog, too, insisting that she wanted it to reach as many girls as possible.

So, whether you are perfectly content in your singleness or are crying your eyes out every night because you want a relationship so badly—and I’ve been both—I hope this beautiful piece of Scripture comforts and encourages you in your current season.

God’s got big plans for you, my friend. Don’t lose heart.

The Single Girl’s Covenant of Peace

(Isaiah 54:1-17—a loose reiteration)

1 “Sing, oh single one, you who are not married; break into song and yell out, you who are not dating! For the blessings of the single woman will be as abundant as those of the one who is in a relationship,” says the Lord.

2 “Open the doors of your home and set extra plates at your table. Do not hesitate to gather a community around you. Don’t hold yourself back.

3 You will find your community to the left and the right, and the friendships you foster will stretch far and wide into the loneliest of hearts.

4 Fear not, for no one will shame you. Don’t be surprised when no one disgraces you. Someday this season will be over and you’ll soon forget the feelings of loneliness.

5 For you Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer. The God of the whole earth He is called.

6 The Lord has called you to touch the lives of those a married woman can no longer reach. Those who are lonely in spirit, heartbroken, or cast aside,” says your God.

7 “For in this season, you might look around you and wonder, ‘Why not me?’ but with great compassion, I will prove to you that you have not been forgotten.

8 It may seem like I am holding back from giving you good things or that I am hiding my face from you. But with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.

9 “Like in the days of Noah, when I swore that the water would never destroy the earth again, so now I am promising you that I have not forgotten you and will not deny you.

10 Someday the mountains, rivers, valleys, and the earth as you know it will be gone, but my covenant of peace will never be taken away,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

11 “Oh troubled one, heartbroken one, jealous one, and one feeling left behind—you feel as though you lack comfort. Look up, daughter, and remember that your home is with me. I am building you a home far greater than you could imagine.

12 Your home in heaven will be built with a foundation of sapphires, windows of clear crystal, doors of gems, and walls of precious stones. I am building you a mansion of far greater worth than any earthly home.”

13 The Lord is using you to teach the next generation of women what godly singleness looks like. Young girls look at you in awe to see you at peace in this season.

14 Your good reputation will be established throughout your community because of your morality. You will not be looked down on because of your confidence. With your eyes on the Lord, you will have nothing to fear.

15 “If anyone tries to gossip about you or cause trouble for you, know that it is not my doing but is from the devil. Whoever tries to hurt you will fail.

16 I have created you for a purpose, and nothing will stand in the way of that purpose. It will succeed.

17 No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the daughters of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD.

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