A Woman's Highest Calling

Finding purpose in every stage of life

Photo by Bence Halmosi on Unsplash

When my pastor announced this year’s Mother’s Day breakfast, he informed us that there were “no mothers allowed in the kitchen!” that Sunday.

“Come and be served,” he said, smiling warmly at the mothers in our congregation.

No mothers? I thought, with a bittersweet smile. Well, that doesn’t include me!

Because my church is small and consists mainly of senior citizens, I approached my pastor after church and volunteered to help serve breakfast the next week. I had to be there early for worship team practice anyway, so showing up half an hour earlier wouldn’t do me any harm.

The following Sunday, I arrived at 8:45 a.m. as promised to serve eggs and toast to the mothers and grandmothers relishing the opportunity to let someone else wash the dishes for a change.

When I finally sat down to eat with the lovely ladies of my church, there was only one other girl at the table who, like myself, was neither a wife nor a mother. As the group of us chatted over homemade pancakes and glasses of orange juice, I felt a mix of emotions stirring in my chest.

I didn’t begrudge any of these women for having something I didn’t. I loved them for becoming spiritual aunts and grandmothers to me, and I did not deceive myself for one moment by thinking their lives were somehow better than mine because they changed their last names.

Nevertheless, a nagging question niggled in the back of my mind: Will I ever join the ranks of these wives and mothers, or has God determined that I am better off remaining single my entire life?

The question did not inhibit me from enjoying breakfast, nor did it overshadow the rest of my day. I love my little church, and I find tremendous joy in serving them every Sunday. Still, I had to fight back a few tears during the sermon that morning as I imagined what it would feel like to hold a child in my lap. My heart ached for a son or daughter to call my own as I wrestled with the discrepancy between the life I envisioned for myself and the one I’m currently living.

What is a Woman’s Highest Calling?

Because marriage and family are integral to our society, I see no lack of articles, blogs, and podcast episodes on the topics of motherhood and parenting.

As a teenager and early twenty-something, I never thought much of these. Until recently, I would brush off the thumbnails or article links with a shrug, thinking, That’s not relevant to me yet, but I’m sure it will be in a few years.

Within the last few months, however, these “mommy blogs” and marriage-related articles have started to elicit new reactions in me: a pang in the chest, a churning of the stomach, an indescribable ache of the heart.

Of late, when I see publications geared towards mothers, I feel irrationally embarrassed, as if I’ve been caught at the Costco entrance without a membership card.

Where’s YOUR children? an accusatory little voice nags me. You ought to have some by now, Little Miss 26.

This is what the LORD says: “I will extend peace to her like a river. . . . As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." (Isa. 66:12-13 NIV)

For one of my recent editorial assignments, I read a short story about Christian women describing motherhood as “a woman’s highest calling.”

Quite frankly, I think this is painfully unfair and downright unbiblical, doing an injustice to the many women who, for a multitude of reasons, have never had a baby of their own.

Are you really telling me that those of us who have never given birth have missed our calling?

I beg to differ.

Yes, marriage and motherhood are sacred commitments and should be celebrated as such. (In fact, I don’t think they’re revered highly enough in our egocentric, consumeristic culture), but biblically speaking, they are not the only calling a woman may have.

A Role For All

The Bible affirms the holiness of marriage and motherhood, but it also applauds the invaluable roles of unmarried, widowed, and childless women.

Side Note: If you haven’t read my recent blog post on singleness, you should definitely take a peek:

All The Single Ladies

I believe a woman’s highest calling is not marriage or motherhood but faithful obedience to Christ in whatever ministry he allocates to her.

Naturally, this may include marriage and motherhood. Most of the central female characters in the Old Testament were wives and mothers. In the New Testament, however, we see a greater mix of married and unmarried women playing key roles in the biblical narrative.

Aside from Mary and Elizabeth, the mothers of Jesus and John the Baptist, most of the women in the Gospels and the book of Acts are remembered not for their status as wives and mothers but for their roles as evangelicals, apologists, and disciples of Christ.

Consider Mary Magdalene, for example. The Bible never mentions whether she was married or not, but we do know that Jesus delivered her from seven demons (Mark 16:9), and, more importantly, that she was the first person to whom Jesus revealed himself after his resurrection (John 20:11-18).

In ancient Jewish culture, only men were considered competent witnesses in a court of law. Women were hardly considered persons, let alone legitimate witnesses. But guess who Jesus chose to testify about the most significant event in history?

A woman.

Consider, too, Priscilla from Acts 18. Priscilla and her husband Aquila were Jews who befriended the apostle Paul during his time in Corinth (v.1). As tentmakers (v. 3), Priscilla and Aquila were among the “working class” of Corinthian society, but they were knowledgeable about the Gospel and partnered with Paul in his church planting. The three of them got along so well that P & A even accompanied Paul when he left Corinth to preach in Ephesus (v. 18).

After a time, Paul decided to visit Jerusalem while Priscilla and Aquila continued their work in Ephesus (v. 22). During Paul’s absence, a man named Apollos arrived from Alexandria and began “speaking boldly” in the synagogue (v. 26).

Apollos was a smart cookie. Coming from Alexandria, one of the intellectual capitals of the ancient world, he was “a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures” (v. 24). He “taught about Jesus accurately” (v. 25), but there was one major problem: he only knew about the baptism of John.

In other words, he was a little behind the times.

Acts tells us that when they heard Apollos speak, “Priscilla and Aquila . . . invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately” (v. 26).

Note that order again: Priscilla and Aquila.

The fact that Priscilla’s name precedes her husband’s, and the fact that Paul refers to both of them as his “co-workers in Christ Jesus” (Romans 16:3; see also 1 Cor. 16:19 and 2 Tim. 4:19), signals that Priscilla was equally instrumental in the spreading and teaching of the Gospel as her husband.

Did Priscilla have any children?

The text never tells us, but we do know that she had an invaluable role in the formation of the early church, for which she is still remembered today.

God Loves Women

I could write a whole book on the roles of women in the Bible (and Lord willing, someday I will) but for now, let me share one final example.

In the second half of Luke 2, Luke describes Mary and Joseph presenting Jesus in the temple for the first time. While there, the new parents are approached by two strangers: prophets of the Lord who have been patiently awaiting the coming of the Messiah. One of these is a woman named Anna.

Ladies and gentlemen, I love Anna.

Luke tells us that at the time of Jesus’ birth, Anna was a very old woman. She had been married for only seven years before her husband died (v. 36), and then she remained a widow until she was eighty-four. Given that girls in ancient Jewish culture were typically married at a very young age, it is estimable that Anna could have been a widow for anywhere between fifty to sixty years.

What did Anna do for those fifty-plus years?

Instead of seeking another spouse, she “never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying” (v. 37).

How was she rewarded for her devotion?

She was one of the first people to meet Jesus—a.k.a. God in the flesh, the long-awaited Deliverer who would bring redemption to Jerusalem and, ultimately, the world.

No, she did not enjoy a long and prosperous marriage. Nor did she raise a household of children. But God bestowed upon her an honour that any woman would be proud of.

God Loves You, My Friend

If you are currently in the throes of motherhood, I applaud you. Marriage and family are beautiful blessings not to be taken for granted. My friend, you are doing the Lord’s work.

If, however, you find yourself single longer than you expected, and if your heart yearns for marriage and family, you are not alone.

Marriage and family are God-given desires. It is natural and healthy for us to crave these things. But please, my sweet friend, don’t let anyone look down on you because of their absence.

As the ultimate source of satisfaction, God can and will satisfy every longing of our hearts (Isaiah 55), but he often does so in ways and times that don’t make sense to us.

In your waiting, remember this: marriage and motherhood are beautiful callings, but they are not the only roles for which we were created.

As women, we have so many opportunities to serve and love those around us. We are more than just brides and “birthing persons” (pardon the tongue-in-cheek woke reference). We are daughters, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, teachers, co-workers, mentors, and so much more.

Best of all, through Jesus we have been crowned as princesses, daughters of God and co-heirs with Christ (Gal. 4). We are ambassadors (1 Cor. 5:20) and members of a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), and we are called to serve our Lord in marvelous ways.

You, my sister, are a daughter of the King.

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