1. Pick one of the exercises above and share your revised "winter walk" or 1st-person POV movie scene in the comments section below. If possible, please post your comment by WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18.
2. Offer constructive feedback to two other writers. Focus your observations on the golden rule of "Show, don't tell." If possible, please provide your feedback by TUESDAY, JUNE 24.
I love the idea of these little writing workshops and assignments! I think I’m going to work on them to stretch my writing muscles. I’ve been doing a bunch of academic writing, but want to write creatively and I think this is just what I need!
Love these writing exercises, Allana! I find having a prompt helps me with the initial scariness of the blank page. Here's my version of the revised Winter Walk:
The clattering of my teeth ricochets into my ears with an intensity that scrambles my thoughts and leaves my soul almost as numb as my fingers. Mom insisted that the fresh air would be good for me, get me out of my own head. She says I think too much. Now all I'm thinking about is extracting my oversized boots from the icy chasm of my own footprint. I lose my balance in the white sink hole, feeling out of my depth on so many levels. But I keep walking, trying to reach her hiker's pace while stomping with a little extra aggression to voice my disapproval of the whole situation. The harder I stomp, the farther I sink, and the deeper the cold seems to sink into my bones. Who is in charge of maintaining these trails anyway? My scarf hits my face with a slap, scolding me for my reluctance to engage in this Woman vs. Nature escapade my mother has dragged me into. The sun lies low on the horizon, mirroring my descending mood. I long for the sound of the whistling tea kettle instead of this whistling wind. Not to mention the warmth of my cat shaped mug nestled within my stiff and tingling fingers. I too am an indoor animal, I mutter in my "overactive mind." Just as I'm sure my wobbly legs are about to buckle, Mom smiles broadly at me with her flawless pearly whites and newly crimson cheeks. She exclaims something about vitality and the restorative power of nature. Through trembling lips, I smile back.
Hey, Kayleigh! Thank you so much for sharing this. There are some delightful lines in this little vignette. Here are my thoughts on your descriptive paragraph:
"The clattering of my teeth ricochets into my ears with an intensity that scrambles my thoughts and leaves my soul almost as numb as my fingers. Mom insisted that the fresh air would be good for me, get me out of my own head. She says I think too much. Now all I'm thinking about is extracting my oversized boots from the icy chasm of my own footprint. I lose my balance in the white sinkhole, feeling out of my depth on so many levels. . . ."
(I LIKE THE LANGUAGE YOU USED IN THESE LAST TWO SENTENCES: "icy chasm of my own footprint", "the white sinkhole," and "out of my depth on so many levels." The narrator's tone and vocabulary give us a clear sense of her attitude toward "winter walks." We learn a lot right away about this (dare I say) melancholy choleric introvert who CLEARLY does not like outdoor winter activities.)
"But I keep walking, trying to reach her hiker's pace while stomping with a little extra aggression to voice my disapproval of the whole situation. The harder I stomp, the farther I sink, and the deeper the cold seems to sink into my bones. Who is in charge of maintaining these trails anyway? . . ."
(I LOVE THE GRUMPINESS IN THIS LAST LINE! My mom and I often grumble about that ourselves when we go walking at Mactaquac Park. I also see a hilarious irony in this moment: the narrator is "stomping" to "voice her disapproval", but that only makes the situation more unpleasant for her!)
"My scarf hits my face with a slap, scolding me for my reluctance to engage in this Woman vs. Nature escapade my mother has dragged me into. The sun lies low on the horizon, mirroring my descending mood. . . ."
(HMMMM.... LET'S ZOOM IN ON A COUPLE OF WORD CHOICES HERE. First, instead of "hits my face with a slap," I would recommend a more concise description: "My scarf slaps my face." Second, I'm wondering if there's a more fitting adjective you could use to describe the narrator's mood. What about "darkening" instead of "descending"?)
"I long for the sound of the whistling tea kettle instead of this whistling wind. Not to mention the warmth of my cat-shaped mug nestled within my stiff and tingling fingers. I too am an indoor animal, I mutter in my "overactive mind.". . ."
(YES! I LOVE THIS BIT! Great comparison between "the whistling tea kettle" and "the whistling wind." I also love the analogy of "the cat-shaped mug" and "an indoor animal.")
"Just as I'm sure my wobbly legs are about to buckle, Mom smiles broadly at me with her flawless pearly whites and newly crimson cheeks. She exclaims something about vitality and the restorative power of nature. Through trembling lips, I smile back."
(GREAT VISUAL DETAILS HERE! I could picture my own mother in this moment, with her "flawless pearly whites and "newly crimson cheeks." With this final description, you've succeeded in doing what so many budding writers struggle with: providing KEY visual details that give us a sense not only of a character's physical appearance but also their personality. I don't need to know the mother's hair or eye colour to visualize her in my mind. From this simple description, we also glean so much about the relationship between these two characters. With "flawless pearly whites", you've shown us a glimpse of how the narrator perceives her mother. When the mother "smiles broadly", we learn that she relishes these outdoor walks that her daughter loathes. And from the last line, "Through trembling lips, I smile back", we discern that this unhappy daughter is trying to respond positively even though internally she is miserable.)
Great work, Kayleigh! I hope you had fun with this exercise. I want to do more lessons on creative storytelling, so I look forward to reading more of your fiction in the future. :)
If everyone who reads this article and does as my my sister says with their works of passion, my eyes will be attached to a happier mind! Starting with me!
Thank you for your amazingly generous time spent serving us with this desperately needed content!
HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT:
1. Pick one of the exercises above and share your revised "winter walk" or 1st-person POV movie scene in the comments section below. If possible, please post your comment by WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18.
2. Offer constructive feedback to two other writers. Focus your observations on the golden rule of "Show, don't tell." If possible, please provide your feedback by TUESDAY, JUNE 24.
Have fun, everyone!
I love the idea of these little writing workshops and assignments! I think I’m going to work on them to stretch my writing muscles. I’ve been doing a bunch of academic writing, but want to write creatively and I think this is just what I need!
Love these writing exercises, Allana! I find having a prompt helps me with the initial scariness of the blank page. Here's my version of the revised Winter Walk:
The clattering of my teeth ricochets into my ears with an intensity that scrambles my thoughts and leaves my soul almost as numb as my fingers. Mom insisted that the fresh air would be good for me, get me out of my own head. She says I think too much. Now all I'm thinking about is extracting my oversized boots from the icy chasm of my own footprint. I lose my balance in the white sink hole, feeling out of my depth on so many levels. But I keep walking, trying to reach her hiker's pace while stomping with a little extra aggression to voice my disapproval of the whole situation. The harder I stomp, the farther I sink, and the deeper the cold seems to sink into my bones. Who is in charge of maintaining these trails anyway? My scarf hits my face with a slap, scolding me for my reluctance to engage in this Woman vs. Nature escapade my mother has dragged me into. The sun lies low on the horizon, mirroring my descending mood. I long for the sound of the whistling tea kettle instead of this whistling wind. Not to mention the warmth of my cat shaped mug nestled within my stiff and tingling fingers. I too am an indoor animal, I mutter in my "overactive mind." Just as I'm sure my wobbly legs are about to buckle, Mom smiles broadly at me with her flawless pearly whites and newly crimson cheeks. She exclaims something about vitality and the restorative power of nature. Through trembling lips, I smile back.
Hey, Kayleigh! Thank you so much for sharing this. There are some delightful lines in this little vignette. Here are my thoughts on your descriptive paragraph:
"The clattering of my teeth ricochets into my ears with an intensity that scrambles my thoughts and leaves my soul almost as numb as my fingers. Mom insisted that the fresh air would be good for me, get me out of my own head. She says I think too much. Now all I'm thinking about is extracting my oversized boots from the icy chasm of my own footprint. I lose my balance in the white sinkhole, feeling out of my depth on so many levels. . . ."
(I LIKE THE LANGUAGE YOU USED IN THESE LAST TWO SENTENCES: "icy chasm of my own footprint", "the white sinkhole," and "out of my depth on so many levels." The narrator's tone and vocabulary give us a clear sense of her attitude toward "winter walks." We learn a lot right away about this (dare I say) melancholy choleric introvert who CLEARLY does not like outdoor winter activities.)
"But I keep walking, trying to reach her hiker's pace while stomping with a little extra aggression to voice my disapproval of the whole situation. The harder I stomp, the farther I sink, and the deeper the cold seems to sink into my bones. Who is in charge of maintaining these trails anyway? . . ."
(I LOVE THE GRUMPINESS IN THIS LAST LINE! My mom and I often grumble about that ourselves when we go walking at Mactaquac Park. I also see a hilarious irony in this moment: the narrator is "stomping" to "voice her disapproval", but that only makes the situation more unpleasant for her!)
"My scarf hits my face with a slap, scolding me for my reluctance to engage in this Woman vs. Nature escapade my mother has dragged me into. The sun lies low on the horizon, mirroring my descending mood. . . ."
(HMMMM.... LET'S ZOOM IN ON A COUPLE OF WORD CHOICES HERE. First, instead of "hits my face with a slap," I would recommend a more concise description: "My scarf slaps my face." Second, I'm wondering if there's a more fitting adjective you could use to describe the narrator's mood. What about "darkening" instead of "descending"?)
"I long for the sound of the whistling tea kettle instead of this whistling wind. Not to mention the warmth of my cat-shaped mug nestled within my stiff and tingling fingers. I too am an indoor animal, I mutter in my "overactive mind.". . ."
(YES! I LOVE THIS BIT! Great comparison between "the whistling tea kettle" and "the whistling wind." I also love the analogy of "the cat-shaped mug" and "an indoor animal.")
"Just as I'm sure my wobbly legs are about to buckle, Mom smiles broadly at me with her flawless pearly whites and newly crimson cheeks. She exclaims something about vitality and the restorative power of nature. Through trembling lips, I smile back."
(GREAT VISUAL DETAILS HERE! I could picture my own mother in this moment, with her "flawless pearly whites and "newly crimson cheeks." With this final description, you've succeeded in doing what so many budding writers struggle with: providing KEY visual details that give us a sense not only of a character's physical appearance but also their personality. I don't need to know the mother's hair or eye colour to visualize her in my mind. From this simple description, we also glean so much about the relationship between these two characters. With "flawless pearly whites", you've shown us a glimpse of how the narrator perceives her mother. When the mother "smiles broadly", we learn that she relishes these outdoor walks that her daughter loathes. And from the last line, "Through trembling lips, I smile back", we discern that this unhappy daughter is trying to respond positively even though internally she is miserable.)
Great work, Kayleigh! I hope you had fun with this exercise. I want to do more lessons on creative storytelling, so I look forward to reading more of your fiction in the future. :)
If everyone who reads this article and does as my my sister says with their works of passion, my eyes will be attached to a happier mind! Starting with me!
Thank you for your amazingly generous time spent serving us with this desperately needed content!